Tuesday, November 3, 2009

Gluten-Free is the New Black

Watching the telly late one night, I saw a taco bell commercial stating 'taco is the new black". T.B. recently release a new "sexy" black taco, that I had to admit (if I hadn't sworn off taco bell almost a year ago) looks pretty damn good.

I started to reflect back on the days when Amy and I used to stuff our faces with nacho bell grande (tortilla chips, cheese and extra sour creme only) and let a single tear fall. My god how we loved taco bell and their caulk gun sour creme. How cruel that now Amy has serious food allergies and I can't poop for 12 days after eating taco bell. I had to seek justice for my celiac friend.

I went to www.tacobell.com and there, on their home page was the black jack taco. Look at that sour creme poking its head out, all white and majestic. My immediate reaction is to dry heave a little, but that subsides quickly and is replaced by me wanting to shove that taco down my throat without chewing.

I digress. I noticed that under that black stallion of a taco that there was a special pop up window that would list nutrition and allergies. Was taco bell feeling the financial loss from Laura and Amy not eating at taco bell? Had word of Amy's food allergies reached the president of taco bell him/herself? Is god trying to get me to eat taco bell again with Amy?

Long story short, the taco bell black jack IS gluten-free (as far as I can see, and according to the vagueness of what taco bell considers gluten-free (chances are the taco meat cannot be eaten due to the seasoning)).

I got excited for Amy and could imagine her sitting on the ledge of a fountain, water gently jumping behind her, the sun illuminating her like a halo, as she sits and enjoys her sexy black jack taco. She could be considered hip and cool, and perhaps as a human able to eat and digest all types of food.

I also thought about Amy's recent trip to the the San Francisco Bay Area, the land that has been home to paranoid hippies and over emotional vegans and vegetarians for over 40 years, thus the "food impaired" can eat at most restaurants and have more options at the grocery store. Amy was able to find a gluten free bakery, gluten-free beer tasting and a gluten-free pizzeria.

She took gluten-free to a whole new level of sexiness. By simply informing the waiter, or dude working at BevMo! that she was gluten-free, she received googly eyed looks, free beer, free gluten-free brownie desserts, and I am pretty sure she made the cashier dude at BevMo! mess up the order cause he insisted on continuing his conversation with Amy even after he was done serving her.

What am I trying to say here you might ask. I don't think it is a coincidence that taco bell put out the "gluten-free" (and yes, I do realize that no where do they claim it is "gluten-free") taco shortly after Amy got special treatment from strange men simply for being gluten-free. They saw that gluten-free was the new black, thus they made a black taco and claimed that taco is the new sexy.

And we have come full circle.


  1. Gluten-free IS the new black. i get free things all the time. people feel sorry for me... you are suddenly lumped into the disability category in wheat-eater eyes.
    funny thing. the taco bell only says "wheat free" as an allergy. but "gluten free" now that is a horse of another color.

  2. senorita reed, you make an interesting point with wheat free versus gluten free, which i was TRYING to get across in the blog, because i realize wheat free is NOT gluten free...maybe that is the next blog post......

  3. That's very strange - every other beef product on their menu specifically has wheat on it in their main nutrition page (which also lists gluten, but just matches the wheat column). I can't imagine they have entirely separate beef for one product.